LIS, WHIT & THE NFL ⟩ Kuueteistkümnes nädal. Omikron ohustab Super Bowli toimumist

Kaotusega veerandfinaalis sai otsa Team Tallinn 2021. aasta fantasy football hooaeg. Seitse võitu, seitse kaotust, viies koht liigas. Alt vedasid need, kellest seda vähim oodanuks – Tom Brady ja wide receiver Mike Evans. Kahe peale kokku alla kuue punkti, võimas. Tampa Bay ja New Orleansi mäng oli üldse üks tobedamaid sel hooajal, tõestuseks 0-9 punktitablool ja seda Saintsi kasuks. Nii Evans kui wide receiver Chris Godwin olid sunnitud vigastuste tõttu mängu teisest poolajast kõrvale jääma ning minekut Tampa sisse ei saanudki. Üldiselt on tavaks, et kui Tom Bradyl on all kehv mäng (ja see eelmine oli tõesti kole), tuleb ta järgmisel nädalal näkku ja makku andma. Ja pühapäeval on Buccaneersi vastaseks Carolina Panthers so this will be fun.

Mu teine WR Ja’Marr Chase (Cincinnati Bengals) kogus samuti madalaskoorilisest matšist Denver Broncos vastu 1.40 punkti, cool. Pingil istunud DeVante Parker (Miami Dolphins) sooritas aga New York Jetsi vastu 17.80 punkti eest pallipüüdmisi ja touchdownigi. Vaba valiku slotis võinuksin platsile saata WR Marquise Browni (Baltimore Ravens), kes lõpetas 14.30 punktiga, aga ei, mina otsustasin, las läheb running back Devonta Freeman (Baltimore Ravens). Palju sai? No 3.40 sai. Ühesõnaga, pange põlema see fantasy football.

The 🐐's first shut out in 15 years and the tablet felt the full force!

Brady was scoreless against the @Saints. The last time Brady didn't score in an NFL game he was 29!#NFL | #NFLUK pic.twitter.com/Y6gGLF79O2

— NFL UK (@NFLUK) December 20, 2021

Including this weekend's games, we are 3 weeks away from the conclusion of the regular season, and folks, there is really no telling what's gonna happen. I can tell you one thing, when the team you love (Panthers, for those who need a reminder) is having a shit season and you have to watch a low football IQ Panthers HC Matt Rhule pretend to know what he is doing as the head coach of said loved team, there is nothing like beautiful chaos to make you feel better. And oh boy oh boy - and, since no discrimination here - oh girl oh girl, do we have some spectacularly chaotic chaos leading us from regular season into the playoffs. And what is this chaos I so subtly mentioned? OMICRON, baby. This should be read in a Transformer voice, like "I am Megatron", by the way.

From December 13th up until December 23rd - a 10-day window - 321 players which translates to 10% of active NFL rosters which further translates to four full teams, tested positive for Covid. Like, this is a "Holy virus, the season is over, Batman" kind of impact. This prompted the postponement of three games last week as teams literally scrambled to figure out how to get 11 players on offense and 11 players on defense who weren't covid-positive, but more importantly, pushed the NFL and NFL Players Association to meet and… amend the way they approach testing. 95% of players in the league are vaccinated, but at this rate of transmission and what we know about Omicron's fast spreading abilities, it would seem the playoffs and Super Bowl part of the season would be all but obliterated if a positive test continued to equal no play. After the NFL's chief medical officer analysed the data and concluded 2/3 of the positives were asymptomatic, while the rest showed mild symptoms, the owners and players heard what they were hoping for. From here on out, players who are vaccinated are only required to test if they start showing symptoms. So if you are vaccinated and asymptomatic, the league won't wake the sleeping bear.

While the Washington Football Team, LA Rams, and Cleveland Browns – the teams hardest hit by last week's outbreak - are slowly getting some key players back, others like the Houston Texans, NY Jets, and Kansas City Chiefs, appear to be in the middle of their own team outbreaks. It really doesn't matter one way or the other for the Texans and Jets, who have a combined 6 wins, as their seasons are done. But the Chiefs - oh boy oh boy oh girl oh girl – they seem to be finally getting some of their dominant rhythm back and suddenly the bookies give them a 1 in 5 chance of winning the Super Bowl. These last few games are critical for them, and right now star TE Travis Kelce is out as is star receiver Tyreek Hill. Who knows what big name succumbs to little Omi next. Stay Tuned.

Before we jump into another week of football...

The TOP 1️⃣5️⃣ plays from Week 1️⃣5️⃣ pic.twitter.com/G4B4Cnjgcu

— NFL (@NFL) December 23, 2021

See oli üks imelik nädal jah, kõigi edasilükatud mängude tõttu jagus jalgpalli suht igasse päeva. Indianapolis Colts võttis metsiku running game abil tulemusega 27-17 võidu New England Patriots vastu, varumehest QB taktikepi järgi igati korralikult mänginud Baltimore Ravensil oli võimalus lüüa extra point (see, mille 33 jala kauguselt lööb su kicker peale sinu touchdowni) ja viigistada. AGA. Teist korda sel hooajal otsustati mängu lõpus üritada hoopis two-point conversionit ehk minna võidu peale, kuid paraku ebaõnnestuti taas. Loogika lendab: milleks minna üleajale kui võimalik asi lukku panna. Two-point conversion on siis kui peale touchdowni lisapunkti ei löö, vaid tiim saab võimaluse 2 jardi kauguselt uuesti pall kas kellelegi sööta või sülle suruda, et see end zonei viia, või siis püüab quarterback ise 2 jardi edasi udjada, et pall üle joone käiks. Ja kui käib, saad kaks punkti.

No ja Baltimore siis proovis ja jälle ei saanud ja kaotas mängu (aga mõte oli hea, nagu on tuhandeid kordi lausunud iga tugitooliliiga profisportlane). Ühesõnaga, Green Bay Packers selle matši võitis 31-30, kindlustas koha playoffides ning sealjuures on Aaron Rodgers sedavõrd heas hoos, et valitakse ilmselt neljandat korda liiga väärtuslikemaks mängijaks.

Buffalo Bills küttis aga korraliku sauna Carolinale. Tulemus 31-14 ei kõnele just ülemäära palju sellest, et Panthers olnuks võimeline mängu võitma, kui vaid selle neetud söödumängu kuidagi käima saanuks. On the ground tegi Cam Newton häid asju, üle 70 jardi pallikandmist ja rushing touchdown, aga õhus sooritas QB1 ainult lolluseid. Lollus on ka see, et mängu eel soojendusel end vigastanud kicker Zane Gonzalesele polnud meeskonnal mitte varumeestki ning see tähendas, et kogu mängu jooksul mitte ühtegi field goali lüüa ei valitud - lihtsalt polnud kedagi, kes seda teha suutnuks. Ehk teisisõnu, kolmes field goal olukorras oli Carolina sunnitud 4th downil valima 3 punkti asemel üritada 1st down saada ja muidugi ei õnnestunud see kordagi. Öäk.

The Panthers have no kicker today so they had pregame tryouts 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/pdoYElc1BL

— Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) December 19, 2021

The defending Super Bowl champs and current NFC South leader, Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Bucs, just lost 0-9 to a New Orleans Saints team who could only muster three field goals. I can't tell you the last time Brady finished a games with 0 points. The Cowboys have clinched the NFC East, but QB Dak Prescott is having consistency issues. He is just off. NFC West leader Arizona Cardinals just got blown out by the Detroit Lions, giving them only their 2nd win of the season. Meanwhile the Green Bay Packers have also clinched the NFC North. The Packers actually look good. I say watch out for the cheeseheads. Aaron Rodgers has a little fire lit under him after the pretending-to-be-vaccinated fallout and is ready to give everyone a middle finger by winning the Super Bowl.

The AFC East leader New England Patriots are 24th in the league in Red Zone TD scoring, meaning they have a hard time executing when they are close to the endzone. Good. I hope Mac Jones crashes and burns. The AFC North leader Cincinnati Bengals has a glaring game planning problem, often times trying to force the run game when the ball should in fact be in QB Joe Burrows' hands. The AFC South leader Tennessee Titans are really missing star RB Derrick Henry who should be returning from injured reserve for postseason play - besides Henry, injuries have gutted their receiving corp., leaving their pass game sorely lacking. And we finally return to the Chiefs, who haven't been able to put together a solid offensive AND defensive performance in the same game. Total inconsistency on both sides of the ball. Mahomes has struggled, the offensive line has been shoddy, and the defense takes vacations during games sometimes.

Even before Omi's late season party-crash, this year has proved to be completely unpredictable. One writer said it perfectly, "There is no ruling class looming over the league this fall". With only three games left, there are still 27 teams in the playoff hunt, the Panthers still technically one of them. I can't not do an internal rolling on the floor laughing with this notion. I'm sorry, that is completely absurd and asinine. As I said before, yay chaos.