LIS, WHIT & THE NFL ⟩ Kahekümne esimene nädal. NFL Championship Sunday: lahingud konverentsitrooni nimel.

January 29, 2022: Multiple sources report that seven time Super Bowl Champion, Tom Brady, will announce his retirement from the NFL. Eric Canha/CSM..November 23, 2014 - Foxborough, Massachusetts, U.S.- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (12) leaves the field after the NFL game between the Detroit Lions and the New England Patriots held at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough Massachusetts. The Patriots defeated the Lions 34-9. Eric Canha/CSM(Credit Image: © Eric Canha/Cal Sport Media) Foto: Eric Canha
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Möödunud nädalavahetuse mängud algasid võrdlemisi igava matšiga Cincinnati ja Tennessee vahel. Järgmiseks virvendas ekraanil Green Bay Packersi ja San Francisco haigutama ajav jukerdamine ning lõpuks kostitati fänne siiski ka kahe ägeda lahinguga, kõigepealt Rams vs Bucs ja seejärel Kansas City Buffalo vastu.

See on cool, et Bengalsi eest skooris ainukese touchdowni running back Joe Mixon ning 348-st söödujardist hoolimata ei suutnud QB Joe Burrow tabloole täiendust tuua ja kandev roll jäi kicker Evan McPhersonile. Rookie hoidis külma närvi ja virutas postide vahele neli field goali, normaalne. Bengalsi suurimaks probleemiks osutus aga… offensive line. Tennessee panustas pass rush peale ja asja eest - vastase QB üheksa korda (!) murusse suruda on korralik vägitegu ja väärib tunnustust. Ent Burrow probleemid sellega ei lõppenud, nimelt pidi mängujuht mõnda aega ka play callinguga tegelema, kuna kiivri sisse ehitatud audiosüsteem andis lihtsalt otsad ning offensive coordinator ei saanud väljaku äärest suurt muud teha kui närviliselt kaasa vehelda. Cincinnati kaitsel oli hea päev - Derrick Henry küll korra skooris, ent üleüldiselt pandi Tennessee rush game kenasti lukku ning QB Ryan Tannehilli sunniti söötma nii ebamugavalt, et Titansi mängujuht sai kirja kolm interceptionit. Niisiis, 16-19 ja Bengalsi võit, who dey!

AFC teise tiitlipretendendi selgitasid 42.7 miljoni televaataja ees välja Kansas City Chiefs ja Buffalo Bills, kui mängujuhid Patrick Mahomes ja Josh Allen söötsid kordamööda muudkui touchdowne. Kolm veerandaega oli tempo rahulik, aga neljandal lasti kõik väravad valla ning viimase kahe minutiga lükiti kahe peale kokku tabloole ei rohkem ega vähem kui 25 punkti. Seis oli 33-36 Buffalo kasuks ja mänguaega järel 13 sekundit kui Tony Romo lausus CBSi eetris “What can Patrick Mahomes do with 13 seconds left? Probably nothing. But maybe something,” ja Billsi kohalik mängukommentaator elevil toonil sõnas oma mikrofoni: “Thirteen seconds, that’s all. It will take a miracle now for Kansas City,” ja siis juhtus nii nagu lubatud - suurteks tegudeks said võimaluse Tyreek Hill ja Travis Kelce, kes Mahomesi lasersöödud kinni püüdsid, Chiefsi field goal ulatusse viisid ning kicker Harrison Butker vormistas mänguaja lõpuks tabloole 36-36.

NFLi reeglid üleajale on… ma ei hakka muud ütlema kui et fucking lollakad. Lugege ise: "Both teams must have the opportunity to possess the ball once during the extra period, unless the team that receives the opening kickoff scores a touchdown on its initial possession, in which case it is the winner,” täiesti lollakas, ükskõik kui hästi su mehed 60 minutit mängisid, võidad mündiviske ja saad sellise eelise. Ei ole okei. Ilmselt eriti mitte-okei oli Billsi mängujuht Josh Allenil istuda väljaku ääres pingil ja vaadata, kuidas Mahomes ja Kelce panid kokku Kansas Cityle võidu toonud rünnaku kui mõni minut varem on sinu tiimi võidutõenäosuse real seisnud 91%. Anyway, mis siin ikka viriseda, mõlemad olid võitu väärt ja mäng imeilus. Seekord otsustas Fortuna naeratada Kansas Cityle, ees ootab lahing Cincinnati Bengalsiga AFC trooni eest.

Aasta siis oli 1988 kui Cincinnati Bengals viimati konverentsi võidu nimel mängis, Kansas City on seda ainuüksi viimasel neljal aastal teinud *checks notes* neli korda. Möödunud hooaja 17. mängunädalal sai Cincy napi võidu (34-31), sealjuures sooritas Joe Burrow 446 jardi ja nelja touchdowni jagu imesid. Vähemalt sama tuleb teha sel pühapäeval.

Kansas City kaitse kinkis äsja Billsi WR Gabriel Davisele neli touchdowni, Bengals has the tape pluss Ja’Marr Chase (eelmises kohtumises kolm touchdowni ja 266 jardi!). Et Chiefs suudab punkte tabloole laduda, ei kahtle keegi, aga sellest ei piisa kui su kaitse laseb järjepidevalt samaga vastata. Mitte toore jõu, vaid kavalusega saab Kansas City lühisesse ajada - sööta running back Joe Mixonile, kasutada ruumi tight end C.J. Uzomah ümber ja nii edasi. Mu bold prediction (olgu, stupid bet tegelikult) selleks mänguks: Uzomah skoorib kaks või rohkem touchdowni. Iseasi, kas sellest piisab kui su vastas on söödumaag Mahomes ning tüübid nagu Travis Kelce, Tyreek Hill, Jerick McKinnon. Kardan, et mitte, kuid usun!

So I was 50-50 in my predictions last weekend... San Francisco pulled out a huge upset - in what was a terribly boring, low scoring game - to destroy Green Bay Packers fans' hopes and dreams of Aaron Rodgers ever bringing them another Super Bowl. (This might be his last year in Green Bay because he says he isn't interested in being part of a "rebuild" season and lots of guys on the teams have contracts expiring) Glorious. Boring, but glorious. So this one I got right. Which means, unfortunately, that the original GOAT, Tom Brady, failed to get past the LA Rams and their ridiculously capable and explosive offense. But he almost pulled it off, y'all - ALMOST - in what was mostly a boring spectacle until the last four minutes and thirty seconds of the game.

Picture it. Sicily. 1935. Tom Brady. Olives and a mule.... oh sorry guys, still have Golden Girls on my mind. Shout out to Sophia Petrillo. So I will let you know how this game went. There was 4:30 left, and at this exact moment in time, there was an over 99% likelihood that the Rams would beat the Bucs. But what is infinitely amazing and what makes Tom Brady the alien specimen that he is, is how he orchestrated a 24-point comeback to tie this sucker up in the final minute, bringing the <1% chance at a Bucs victory all the way up to the odds of a coin toss. Like WOW. This game was pretty excruciating if you were pulling for Brady. They just couldn't get anything going offensively... it was 27-3 with 7 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Jump ahead to just under 4 minutes left in regulation and Brady hits Evans for a 55-yard TD pass to make it 27-20 with 3:20 left! And then - because Tom Brady and miracles - with 2:25 left defensive end Ndamukong Suh forced Rams RB Cam Akers to fumble, giving the ball back to the Bucs in their own territory, which resulted in a Leonard Fournette TD run on 4th and 1 with 42 seconds left in the game, TIE GAME BABY!

"OH MY GOD HE HAS DONE IT AGAIN, HOW HAS HE PULLED OFF THE ULTIMATE UPSET YET AGAIN LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.... this lasted for all of 10 seconds (in real life and on social media) before the ultimate comeback turned into the ultimate tease.

With no timeouts and only 42 seconds, Matthew Stafford gashed through the Bucs defense like a hot knife on butter, connecting with Cooper Kupp twice to set up the game-winning field goal. Pretty sure I have emphasized in annoying repetition how crucial a RELIABLE field goal kicker is. Anyway, I digress. Let me tell you I was one of those people screaming (internally because it was like 2 a.m.) that Brady was for real gonna pull off yet another insane last minute miracle. But Stafford had other plans, procuring only his 2nd playoff win ever (both this season with LA), after going 12 seasons in Detroit with a big fat zero postseason victories. A not so fun fact: it really seems like this is the year Brady will retire. Thus far, this is the energy he is giving off but until the words come out of his mouth... you just never know.

Onto the snooze-fest yet happy ending San Francisco - Green Bay match up. Happy ending for me. Everyone thought silly little 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garropolo - who everyone surmises will be traded in the offseason anyway in favor of the franchise-quarterback-in-waiting Trey Lance - despite the bursting talent around him and the upsets they kept pulling off, was gonna go into Packers land and succumb to the almighty Rodgers and Green Bay's freezing, snowy Packeresque environment. Well those assholes were wrong. I mean granted, it was literally 10-3 for like the whole game and Jimmy was doing typical Jimmy turnovers. Green Bay actually had their way with SF on offense, but just couldn't finish, that's what she said.

And then they were way too run-heavy in the second half, just too conservative, playing not to lose instead of to win. And if not for a sneak through by SF special teams on a GB punt that resulted in a block and then no one knowing where the ball was for what felt like 10 seconds, and then a dude named Talanoa Hufanga scooping the ball up and running into the endzone, we would be having a different conversation right now. Fun fact: Aaron Rodgers has never ever beaten the 49ers in the playoffs. He is 0-4 against them. They OWN HIM. Awww, Aaron, I'm sorry buddy. The 49ers are a teensy weensy better than the Chicago Bears this season, and apparently every season, huh?

So there ya have it. We are looking at a California showdown - LA Rams versus San Francisco 49ers - which happens to also be taking place in California - Los Angeles, specifically, because they are the higher seed. But that's not all kids, it's also where this year's Super Bowl will take place in less than 3 weeks. So yes, what I'm saying is the Rams have a chance to have home field advantage in the Super Bowl if they can finish their biz and put the 49ers to bed. But maybe Jimmy G and the 49ers will be the first team since, GUESS WHOOOOO, the Green Bay Packers in 2010, to reach the Super Bowl as a 6th seed?

Honestly I don't know what's gonna happen. Something to keep in mind... apparently there really isn't a "home field advantage" when you play in SiFi Stadium in Inglewood, California, just outside of LA proper. The Rams have only been in LA for a few years after moving from St. Louis, and there just isn't a strong fan base like you might think they would have. They aren't the Lakers, let's put it that way. So the 49ers are likely to feel a strong fan presence with SF being only a 6 hour car ride away. If you don't know I will tell you - 49ers fans be dedicated fools y'all. It is an old team, there is generational commitment there. So that is one thing to consider. Another to consider is that you just cannot, I repeat, cannot underestimate 49ers Head Coach Kyle Shanahan and his team. They are scrappy and tough and never ever give up. Shanahan has amazing football IQ and there is always a possibility of trickery with this one. And Deebo Samuel is on his own level - this matchup against defensive back Jalen Ramsey is one to watch. On the same thumb, clearly you can't underestimate LA Head Coach Sean McVay, a determined to finally win something Matthew Stafford and a STACKED Rams team on both sides of the ball. His connection with wide receiver Cooper Kupp is ridiculous and defenses just can't contain him.

Both teams have something to prove... LA would like to show the people of LA that they actually matter and are worth getting excited over, while San Francisco wants to show everyone that they should have never counted them out as legit contenders. The ultimate underdogs. One more fun fact: 49ers beat Rams in both games this season. They always play twice a year because same division, NFC West. Okay final score 32-28, 49ers. I believe Jimmy, I believe.

Lis, Whit & The NFL on iganädalane artiklisari Ameerika jalgpallist, muuhulgas tuleb juttu fantasy football liigast, tutvustame NFLi meeskondi ja mängijaid ning teeme panuseid tulemustele - often stupid, sometimes lucky.

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